Reddit Gold: “What do you NEVER fuck with?”

Reddit Gold highlights the most useful and educational content on Reddit as found on r/AutoBestOf.

Today’s post is from u/Temp_eraturing who answers the question: “What do you NEVER fuck with?

Hornets.

However, if you DO have to fuck with them, there’s a few redneck methods of getting ’em gone that are REALLY effective.

My dad’s got a cabin way out in the woods, and one day we found a big Hornets’ nest just under a window, buzzing with sinister intent. Since the nest was about 15 feet in the air, the usual can of raid wasn’t going to cut it. My dad’s solution was to slam 3 beers before pulling out his wet/dry vac, and duct taping it to a spare piece of ~10ft metal piping (the cabin was in the middle of renovations to get running water, so construction material was all over the place). Then, he took the piece of pipe and positioned it using sawhorses so that the opening was just below the entrance of the hive. And then he turned on the vacuum.

The combined noise and vibration of the vacuum was enough to cause the entire hive to disgorge its angry occupants, who would buzz around around for about half a second before getting THWUPPED down the tube and battered around in the belly of the vacuum cleaner.

Now, unfortunately, this isn’t enough to kill them, which we learned after pulling the top of the vacuum cleaner and seeing a heaving, surging mass of chitin and malice attempting a mad dash for the sunlight. So, what do you do with a plastic barrel full of Hornets? Well, if you’re a 50 year old redneck with a thirst for vengeance, you pull out your trusty duct tape and Macgyver your F-150’s exhaust port to the end of the vacuum cleaner, and then roll enough coal to smoke every last sonuvabitch into a stupor. Then, you take the entire wet dry vac, and dump it into a nearby bonfire as a final “fuck you”.

So yeah, Hornets may be bad, but sometimes the absolute jankiest way to get rid of them ends up being exactly the one you needed.

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