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Today’s post is from u/PsychologicalWhiskey who answers the question: “Anybody else feel like they have an unhealthy obsession with prestige and success?”
One thing I noticed in your very long rant is that the entire post is about what others think of you.
What do you think about you? Who gives a shit what a recruiter thinks of me, or a hiring manager thinks of me, or a random redditor thinks of me, or my parents think of me, or my friends think of me, or my co-workers think of me.
My success not only in my career, but in life in general, is 100% based on what I think about me.
Some peoples definition of sucess on this sub is my exact definition of failure. Spend more than 40 hours a week at a job? I’ve failed. Spend so much time in a class to obtain an A+ that I had to stop having fun on the weekends? That’s a failure to me. Grinded so hard in high school to get into the #1 school in the country that I didn’t have time to develop any hobbies or hold a job? I’ve failed. Spend all my time on leetcode to get a “prestigious” job? I’ve failed. Joined a tech club not because I’m interested in it, but because I wanted to pad my resume? Hard fail.
Pretty much everything you listed as a positive thing, I view as a negative thing.
So, let’s ignore what you think others think. What do you think?
If you strive in life to please others, then of course there is no “good enough”. There’s no “end game”. Because you’re trying to please others, not yourself.
I indeed felt this way for a brief moment early on in college, but then I got a single internship offer as a sophomore at a non-tech company that most people would not regard as “prestigious”. Well, I ended up actually having fun, making friends, enjoying my life, going out, and having one of the best summers in my life during that internship. I wasn’t grinding 80 hour weeks, I didn’t get a shiny gold star on my resume that my mom can brag about to her friends. What I got was work experience, and an amazing summer outside of the office. All my friends that ended up at “prestigious” places? Their summers fucking sucked.
Something unique about a job in CS is pretty much the second we graduate, we’re making a salary that’s already higher than a large portion of Americans. We’re making a salary on Day 1 that can afford us a nice apartment, food on the table, the ability to eat out and go binge drinking on weekends, go on vacations, buy nice cars, and generally have fun. All the numbers beyond that day 1 salary? That’s just a “nice to have”.
I work to live, I don’t live to work. Change your thinking, and make yourself happy. Fuck everyone else.