Reddit Gold: “Anthony Bourdain once said “There’s a guy in my head, and all he wants to do is lay in bed all day long, smoke pot, and watch old movies and cartoons. My life is a series of strategems, to avoid, and outwit that guy”. Who is “that guy” for you, and what do you do to avoid him?”

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Today’s post is from u/godspeedmetal who answers the question: “Anthony Bourdain once said “There’s a guy in my head, and all he wants to do is lay in bed all day long, smoke pot, and watch old movies and cartoons. My life is a series of strategems, to avoid, and outwit that guy”. Who is “that guy” for you, and what do you do to avoid him?

Might get buried, but my dude in my head is literally Mr. Spock from Star Trek, and I don’t avoid him.

Hear me out – I discovered through therapy that I needed a mechanism for judgement-less and objective self-analysis and Mr. Spock is that dude. He can see the most fucked up space shit ever and react calmly and objectively.

Mr. Spock: “The massive space blob has a 97.454% chance of consuming the ship and everyone inside within 4/7 minutes. Projections show it will be slow and painful.”

Kirk: “That’s horrible!”

Spock: “Yes, it is not ideal for our continued survival, but it’s actions are entirely within the nature of the space blob.”

So, whenever I get spun up on something in my head I imagine a mini-Spock in my head with a science terminal that can pull all data about ME.

me: “Spock, science report.”

Spock: “Data shows that godspeedmetal is 5.8 days from quitting smoking tobacco and is under great mental distress from the change of chemical intake. He isn’t consciously aware of it, but he’s attempting to make up an excuse to get gas on a half-tank in order to create an opportunity to buy a pack of cigarettes.”

me: “Thank you, Spock, sounds like I’m being dishonest with myself. I suck!”

Spock: “I disagree. It’s entirely within the nature of a nicotine addict to seek out a source of nicotine intake. This is neither Good or Bad. Just natural. Data also suggests that conscious awareness mitigates the chances of nicotine intake by 89.45%. You’ve yet to procure a nicotine source as well. Commendable.”

Just going through that mental exercise will help knock me out of a mental spun-up state, help sort out emotions, feelings, all that stuff, into a parsed, objective, and most importantly, non-judgemental way.

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