Reddit Gold highlights the most useful and educational content on Reddit as found on r/AutoBestOf.
Today’s post is from u/AskMeToTellATale who answers the question: “Fellow non-drinkers of alcohol, what’s your reason why?”
I was an alcoholic from the first drink. Everytime I put a little bit in me, I wanted more. If I could, I got blackout drunk. My favorite times were when I was pouring the last shot, shaking as the liquor spilled all over. Everything was quiet. Just me and a feeling of comfort and safety.
Alcohol was my gateway drug that brought me into a drug addiction that destroyed my entire life.
The other night part of me considered getting drunk. I asked it why. It was scared of responsibility and growth. It wanted to burn everything to the ground again. It’s easier when I have nothing and no responsibilities. I can wallow in self pity and misery and tell myself this is how life is supposed to be.
My sobriety date is January 27th, 2014. If you want to know how I did it, PM me.
edit: I’ve been typing non stop for over an hour. Switching from mobile to my keyboard to reply faster. Please be patient!
edit: r/stopdrinking is full of people willing to help and support you!
edit: I have 25 pending chats and 140 orangereds, still typing y’all
edit: Been typing non-stop for hours, thanks for reaching out everyone, I’m doing my best to get to you.
edit: Now my chats are failing to send
edit: Alright it’s been 7 hours, my codependent self is going to have to take care of itself too. I’ll try to get back to everyone else tomorrow or during the weekend
edit: Day two: Reddit is giving me 500 errors replying to inbox messages and I can’t accept chat requests anymore. Looks like I broke reddit.
Reddit support has informed me that I have most likely reached the allowed number of chat conversations, and there is currently no way to close existing ones. I can not reply to anybody’s pending chat messages. That’s about 24 of you. I don’t know how many direct messages I have, but I may be able to respond at some point. I’m running into errors with them too.
Either way, I’m swamped. Here’s the basics of how I got sober: I went to rehab, sober living, and then AA. I worked the 12 steps and got connected to a higher power that was different than the one I was taught and hated growing up. Since getting connected I feel better. The pain and misery of being sober is replaced by contentment and serenity.
I meditate a lot. I go to meditation meetings and have a spiritual community. I found my spiritual home in Eastern spirituality. AA is open to whatever you want to believe about a higher power. We don’t care what it is, even if you don’t believe in God.
I have a fellowship of people in recovery who support me. I’ve had so much fun and true joy without alcohol and other drugs in the past five years.
A lot of y’all expressed being bored and uninspired without alcohol. That’s normal in early recovery. You’ve been squeezing all the “feel-goods” out of your brain like a wet sponge. You’ve got to let it soak back up and return to health, then you’ll feel the joy of life without chemicals lying to you.
A lot of y’all reached out in desperation, some with heartbreaking stories. I’m sorry if I’m unable to respond to you. Meetings are a great place to start this journey.
I didn’t want to post this AA stuff publicly because we try to stay anonymous and attract people rather than promote ourselves. However, it looks like a lot of people are attracted to my story and how I did it, so it seems like a good idea to let y’all know here since I can’t tell you privately.
If you don’t want AA or want to add to it, r/stopdrinking is full of people who are stopped and are trying to stop drinking.
PS: Thanks for the awards!